“Inebriated and Shit/A Slacker’s Guide to the Galaxy/Right Quick”

What were you doing in 1987? I remember years past by where I lived, and not candles blown out on birthday cakes. I was a young one that just knew what I liked when I saw a shape. Our house was a nicely manicured maze of shapes and sizes, and myself and a few chosen friends would walk around with eyes widened. It was a time.

Mom ended up directing a video at our home — an international superstar in zebra panties and a bunch of hunching and freakin’ — which is what we called dancing like adults in my pre-teens.

I had a crush on a girl who had a full head of hair, like Phylicia Rashad. She had the softest cheeks and a dainty voice, with a high-pitched chuckle — like she already knew she was cute.

She probably stinks now. I bet Ms. Phylicia doesn’t.