Chapter 2 “Nuts”

There’s something inside of us all that changes after our first sexual experience. For me, there was an instant, tangible change. Women had become different to me. Useable commodities that also smelled good; had beautiful hips and could cook. You see, I think my mother is beautiful, but we didn’t have that relationship that a few of my buddies have with their own. As soon as I was old enough, I learned to be self-sufficient out of necessity. As my mother’s health remained inconsistent, I learned to fill in the gaps during her hospital stays. Possibly before it is often experienced, I realized that women weren’t quite built the way men were. Not from a chauvinist view; I felt like my mother had been stricken with these problems, and my sister, while not sickly, per se; didn’t have my immune system (this is how I judged strength as a child).

My first time was uneventful, but natural. Sex isn’t difficult; it’s not this complicated act that you have to over think. And by the time I’d lost my virginity, I was ready for it. Afterwards, though, she was different to me. I didn’t disrespect her, but she was, without a doubt, mine. I mean, she was my girlfriend, but the consummation left me feeling like I’d conquered land — and I planted my waving flag, proclaiming her as my territory. Perhaps what you should know is that my proclamation was made possible by the fact that after our first time, she didn’t want our thing to end. And as…