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“I’d just like to go on the record and say that Kat Dennings is the white girl of all white girls. She’s milky — we minorities like milky — blame it on the milk campaign. She’s got those eyes. And those lips — you know, with those lips, she might not be all white.”
“That’s ridiculous — of course she’s white. Fine as fuck, but all white.”
“I don’t know, man. How many black girlfiends she got?”
“Fine, Schep, she’s the white girl of all white girls. I don’t want to argue about this. It’s not like she’s walking through that door, looking at you, pulling out her jugs and giving you in hour in Candyland. And, what the — what do you mean, ‘we minorities’? Look around you — at you. You’re the same color as fancy resume paper. A guy takes a couple of history courses to follow around sexy geeks in leggings, and now he’s not white…”
“You’re a racist.”
“Your mom is Armenian, and your father is from Scottsdale. You grew up in Chantilly, Virginia and obtained Eagle Scout. If anything about you is minority, it’s your life compared to a lot of minorities — not your skin tone . Oh, and your name is Schep — short for nothing in particular. Schep Connor Hurlbutt,” the roommate chuckled and shook his head; tickled by his friend’s undying determination…
